PayPal.com - website fail

About a month ago, I started selling on eBay again. For me, this means lots of mailing envelopes, trips to the post office, and PayPal.

Ahh, PayPal!

I am certain there are a number of you thinking about your own PayPal mishaps (and if you are, e-mail them to me!).

But, anyway, in this case, it wasn’t really the service that stunk. Surprisingly, it was more the difficulty of using a business’ website.

So, I had sold items on eBay and had actually made some money! But when I took my PayPal card out of my wallet, I realized it had been expired for quite some time. - Whoops! - Apparently, it had been a while since I had eBayed and actually had to use that card.

I went to the website to reorder a card - you know, one that wasn’t expired, one I could actually make use of. - Simple task, right? Right. Easily executed, right? Wrong.

Wrongwrongwrongwrongwrong.

First, the PayPal website told me I couldn’t request another card, because my previous card was never activated. Mind you, this was true, but silly because I’ve had multiple PayPal debit cards (renewed ones, I mean). But whatever. Fine.

Hmm. It seems the only option they left me with was to “Report card lost or stolen.”

Okay. Sounds good. I’ve lost it. - I slowly shift my eyes to the card sitting on the table next me. - Yup, lost it.

Click!

Okay, good! Now, I can request a new one! I filled out all of my information. Name, address, phone number, all that good stuff. More useless information and…done.

Click!

The address you’ve entered is too long, so we’ve shortened it for you. Please verify that it is correct.

What? - I am baffled. - Um, no.. you’ve shortened it. It is now wrong.

I look around the page frantically, but I don’t see the “No, you’ve ruined everything!” button.

Nothing.

There is nothing obscenely long about my address! I mean, I live in an apartment, I have an apartment number, but besides that…nothing.

After fiddling around with options on the site, I gave in and called customer service.

I hate doing this. Mainly because A) The person on the other end of the phone is very foreign and has a thick accent and I can not for the life of me understand them (better yet, they can’t understand me, OR my problem), B) They put me on hold for entirely too long which causes me to want to gauge my eyes out and give up completely, or C) They just can not help me at all.

The whole experience is frustrating for all parties involved. No one wants to have to call customer service.

Sure enough, a woman with a very thick accent answers the phone. Ten minutes later, after trying to explain my issue to her, as patiently as possible, she “transfers” me.

“I am transfer you. Please hold.”

The word transfer - in the customer service world - means one of two things: either they have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about/what your problem is, so they make you someone else’s problem. Or…actually that’s pretty much it. "Escalation".

Eyeroll.

Bev finally gets on the line.

Now, let’s take a moment here to point out that Bev is absolutely awesome. I can’t remember the last customer service experience I had ending in such a good way (or, at least, as good as it could have). Bev was frustrated with me - No, not with me, but…well, she seemed to empathize. Bev knew the website and my address problem were both awful and inconvenient and she made sure that we fixed it.

I explained the problem to her. She understood, yet couldn’t understand why it did that. Throughout the phone call, she would randomly say things like,

“Hang on, let me see if there is a shorter way to abbreviate Boulevard…” Shorter than “Blvd” is what she meant. And the answer was no.

"Oh, now it edited out your entire apartment number. Hmm..."

Facepalm.

Finally, about 25 minutes on the phone with Bev (my champion of a CSR), confusion between the two of us, and some mangled form of my address later, it was done.

“Bev? Are you…sure that the card will get to me with this address?”

“Nope. But we’ll know in about a week or two.”

(We both laughed.)

It wasn’t her fault. The website design was completely flawed. Editing addresses unnecessarily is bizarre. Bev certainly did everything in her power to fix it. It was like my tweet was too long and I had to take out some key words - I could only hope my followers could still read the mess I was left with.

And, guess what? They did! I mean, I did get my card!

My mailman scolded me, though: he said he never wants me to have something addressed that way ever again. We're all confused. But I did get my card.

PayPal.com, Your Service Website Stinks!

You've received a ServiceStinks rating of...1 finger out of 10!

Congratulations!

(Told and Written by Jamie)

Fifth Third Bank. S. Rutherford Blvd. branch. Murfreesboro, TN.

This was an unreal experience had by my friend. The story was written by me, about his experience with Fifth Third Bank (specifically the branch on S. Rutherford Blvd., in Murfreesboro, TN). I was with him during most of the conversations and happenings herein, and what ever I did not experience first hand, he told me personally.

The following story is written in first person, as if I am him.

--------------------

I opened a bank account at Fifth Third Bank about seven weeks ago. It was a free student checking account. They told me I would receive my debit card in the mail in about two weeks (although, they told me most customers usually got the card within 5 business days).

So, two weeks went by. No card. Three weeks went by. No card.

They didn't even give me a temporary card: nothing. How much do they plan on inconveniencing me, the customer? If i want to make a transaction, I have to physically go to the bank and withdraw the money.

I called the bank numerous times between the second and third weeks. I even went up to the bank in person just to check on my card. I knew the person by name who opened my account. I always spoke to her -- sometimes another random teller, but mostly my account opener.

But none of that did me any good. I still had no card.

Finally, I called again. I explained that I had received other mail from Fifth Third at my address, but no card. So, it's not like the address "wasn't working". There was something wrong.

"We're sorry. We'll order it and have it directly delivered to our store/branch, but it will be another week."

Great. But whatever, I decide to wait it out. Again. For even longer.

Four weeks went by. Still no card. Still the same run-around. They order it again.

Five weeks went by. Nothing has changed.

Six weeks have gone by, at this point. I have been calling and stopping by the branch on a weekly basis, but no card.

"We'll send it up to our escalation desk. We'll have them FedEx us your card to the branch, here, again."

They guaranteed me they would have my card by the next friday. Guaranteed. They even said they would call me as soon as they received it.

It's friday. No card, no call. So, I decided to call them (at 3pm, since I have not heard from them at all yet).

"Oh, FedEx hasn't come yet, but they will come before we close at 6pm, so I will call you when it gets here."

Um, yeah, okay...I can see through your bullshit.

But whatever. I waited again.

The call never came.

The weekend came and went.

I called them Monday afternoon and demanded some answers, "You've ordered my card four times now. I am going to be completely honest with you, I feel like my account does not matter to you in the slightest. This is terrible customer service and I can not believe it's been seven weeks, and you keep giving me the run around. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MY CARD?!"

Apology, apology, please hold -- the usual.

Ten minutes went by, fifteen minutes went by...are you serious?

I have now been on hold for over fifteen minutes at this point. -- What could they possibly be doing besides delaying speaking to me, or just forgetting about my call all together?

Finally she came back on the line, "Sorry, they placed another order, we're not sure what happened."

WHAT?!

"I am NOT waiting another 2 weeks for a card!,", I screamed into the phone, "I am driving over there right now to close my account!"

"Well, let me double check at the escalation desk again, and..."

I interrupted her run-around speech, "I'll give you ten minutes. No matter if you figure this out or not, call me back in ten minutes. Otherwise, I will be up there to close my account with you. This is absurd!"

I hung up.

Ten minutes later, my phone rang. It's the bank manager.

"I am so sorry! I'm the manager, and I can give you a $20 gift card for your trouble! I can personally assure you, as the bank manager, that your card will be here on friday." Another week away. Really?

The manager claimed that this was the first she had heard of this, the first she was involved in the matter. I guess I should have asked to speak to the manager sooner. Silly me for thinking business gets taken care of without the customer having to complain and speak to a manager.

If my card is not there on Friday, I will take their money and close my account anyway. I will gladly take their minuscule gift card for my troubles, and give them until Friday.

Where is the efficiency? I kept getting the run-around. I'm shocked things have gone this far, and I am thoroughly convinced that everything you spend money on is a ripoff. Even the places where you keep said money.

Fifth Third Bank, YOUR SERVICE STINKS!

You've received a ServiceStinks rating of...1 finger out of 10!

Congratulations!

(Told by Christopher S. Dospil, Written by Jamie)